Welcome to the very first story of my Gastronomy Tales series.
With this project, I want to show you that gastronomy is not only about recipes and plates.
Here, you’ll encounter stories that will move you deeply, sometimes even dragging you into the darker corners of the human soul.
So, let’s dive into the frightening story of Vedat Cruet, a man who spends his days as a professional chef and his nights as a mysterious stand-up comedian.
Note: AI-generated images created by Cafer Can Yeşilyurt to illustrate the concept.
Chapter 1: Salty Secrets and Sweet Curiosity
The summer heat was burning as always.
The scorching summer heat was unbearable as always.
Yet, despite everything, work in our restaurant kitchen continued.
That’s where you’ll find me!
Mira, your humble intern.
“At least we’re not like La Chair across the street, drowning in orders from morning till night!
I still don’t understand how they keep so many customers and staff alive in this heat.”
I whispered while preparing for service.
Just then, I felt a firm hand on my shoulder.
“Stop complaining, Mira!
That restaurant you mentioned makes more money than any place on Meat Street.
And if you had any sense, you’d realize that’s exactly why our place (Tuzluk) lags behind that freak Vedat Cruet’s restaurant.”
That was our executive chef Aydın, grumbling as usual.
So, the problem wasn’t management or something else, it was me.
Ridiculous!
But Chef Aydın was right about one thing.
Vedat Cruet was strange, and his restaurant was world-famous.
His dish called Et-i-can brought people from everywhere.
Well, Mira. Here’s your chance.
“Chef, maybe I could keep an eye on Vedat Cruet.
I can’t promise all the answers, but I might at least find some clues.”
Aydın smirked.
“So you want to play detective, huh?
Fine. Leave a few hours early in the evenings and follow him.
Where he goes, what he eats, and what he drinks.
Bring me everything.”
And just like that, he left the kitchen.
Alone at my station, I began plotting the night ahead.
If only I had known what awaited me, I would never have left my vegetables behind.
Or… did I?
My head is spinning.
Chapter 2: Following the Dark Trail
Two hours before closing, when our restaurant was at its busiest, and I slipped out.
Yes, I felt guilty, but my mission was more important.
Also luck was on my side.
Vedat seemed to be leaving La Chair early.
Wrapping my jacket tighter, I followed him through the warm evening streets.
Half an hour later, I found myself in a strange part of town, where only a few bars and shops remained open.
Vedat entered a place called The Çatal Perde.
A large food delivery truck stood parked outside.
Strange. How many ingridients might a single bar need?
Regardless, I didn’t want to waste any more time, so I headed into Çatal Perde.
The first thing that caught my eye was that the bar was preparing to host a stand-up show.
Many in the audience stood with their backs turned to the dimly lit stage, waiting for the show to begin.
“So many people in such a poorly lit place…
I knew Vedat Cruet was unusual, but I didn’t think he was crazy enough to watch stand-up in such a place.
Besides, what kind of comedy could possibly come out of this stage?
If anything, it would lead to murder confessions!” I muttered to myself.
Perhaps I’d overstepped my bounds.
Someone was stepping onto the stage…
Chapter 3: Mira’s Nightmare
I froze.
It was Vedat Cruet himself, still wearing his chef’s clothes, and smiling wide.
“Wow, look at our famous chef!
I never imagined Vedat doing a stand-up comedy show in forty years.
How could Chef Aydın not know about this?
Anyway, it looks like the show is starting.” I said, and then tried to focus on the stage.
Yes, I’m trying to focus, but something…
Something is really strange.
Every time I try to focus on Vedat under the dim light, an unbearable pain rises in my head.
What can we do?
I’ll just have to settle for Vedat’s voice now.
Besides, I’m sure not seeing our comedian’s (!) face will make me feel better.
Minutes passed.
Then suddenly, a deafening roar of laughter filled the bar.
It wasn’t normal laughter, it sounded like a broken blender, loud and sharp.
My stomach turned. I ran out.
The next morning I woke up at home, not even sure how I got there.
“Vedat’s lips moved, but I didn’t hear him.
Maybe I was too far away.
Tonight, I’ll sit closer.
I must know what’s going on.”
I called Chef Aydın, half-expecting to be fired for skipping work.
Surprisingly, he approved my request without protest.
Chapter 4: Bloody Humor
That night, I went back to Çatal Perde.
The street was colder, and I was nervous.
When I entered, the smell hit me first.
Rotten vegetables. Maybe worse.
“Was this smell here last night?” I thought.
I managed to grab a front-row seat.
If Vedat was really speaking, I would hear it this time.
But that smell, ugh…
You have to hold back Mira, the show’s starting!
Vedat Cruet was walking towards the center of the stage, all his repulsiveness.
Vedat’s mouth movement brought me back from my thoughts and I perked up my ears.
But… Still, there was no sound.
“Hahaha! I think this must be his joke.
A chef who moves his mouth but can’t make a sound, and the harmony of rotting vegetable smells.
What a funny stand-up!” I thought, trying to calm myself.
I was bored now, and I turned my head to the side, wanting to look at the audience next to me.
Yes, the lighting was so dim that I had to stare at the same spot for a few minutes.
I hadn’t initially attempted such a move, thinking it would be rude, but now I couldn’t even consider it.
Yes, something was becoming clear.
The audience… They weren’t normal.
Pale eyes, red flesh faces like meat and vegetables. One even had a giant tomato for a head.
I have to escape from here, and now!
But fear froze me.
My stomach twisted. Another wave of that horrible laughter hit the room.
Vedat is gripping a chef’s knife, eyes locked onto mine, and his grin wider than ever.
“Et-i-can!”
Final Thoughts
Dear reader, thus ends the first tale of Gastronomy Tales: The Chef’s Bloody Humor.
I hope Mira’s horrifying discovery, and Vedat Cruet’s dreadful secret haunted you as much as it did me.
Remember, in the eyes of Cafer Can Yeşilyurt, the world of gastronomy is not only about delightful flavors.
Sometimes, behind the most breathtaking dish lies a dark secret and an unexpected story.
Just like Vedat Cruet’s Et-i-can.
Until your next gastronomic nightmare, bon appétit!
Continue your gastronomic journey with “How Long to Boil Potatoes?” and “What Are Taste, Aroma, and Flavor?“
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